SAMPLE PLAYS AND MONOLOGUES

COOKIES, BRIDGE, TIME
AND PEOPLE FROM THE YEAR 1409
The princess has escaped from the year 1409 and come into the present only to be kidnapped by two children who are a front for local hospitals who force feed the local community junk food so that they are supplied with patients. Luckily, the Organic Detective Lindsay Puff saves the day.

- Scene 2 NEWSROOM

REPORTER
Ladies and Gentleman we have just had an odd spotting on the old bridge. A brand new bug with no license plate, sped over the bridge illegally on this Halloween night. And now that the fog has cleared, the car is no where in sight. We have searched the town thoroughly. This bridge has been closed for fifty years. We are amazed that someone would feel confident enough to drive over the rickety bridge on Halloween, which according to references, from the year 1758 and 1529
say the bridge will take you wherever you wish, in whatever time you wish to visit ,only on All Hallows Eve. Please do not use this bridge, all persons using this bridge will be prosecuted. Sightings of this car should be reported.

- Scene 3 DRIVING IN THE CAR

SONIA
Will you please let me out. I am not thrilled with this idea. I am the princess I tell you. You must do everything I say. It is law.

BRET
Bret hungry. We go get food.

FREDDY
Freddy hungry too.

SONIA
You have such bad grammar. Did you go to school? I am hungry. That is proper English. I am hungry.

BRET
Bret is hungry.

SONIA
Freddy can you do it? I am hungry.

FREDDY
Freddy wants ice-cream. Yum.

SONIA
Oh, I give up. I am hungry too.

FREDDY
Bret, make car fly. (car lifts off ground, Sonia screams) Fly over ocean and go house.

UNDER THE BED
A grumpy goblin tries to understand why the food prices have soared. He hatches a plan to trade for the food he loves only to find himself attacked by the enemy, a vacuum cleaner.

- Scene 3 ON THE ROAD

CANKER-SORE ( a goblin)
(mumbling rude thoughts)

CATERPILLAR ( a beautiful green and orange caterpillar)
Good afternoon.

CANKER-SORE
Go away. I don't have time for you.

CATERPILLAR
(follows him) Are you upset?

CANKER-SORE
Yes, I'm upset! Goodness.

CATERPILLAR
Why are you upset?

CANKER-SORE
Because brussel sprouts are too expensive and I can't buy them anymore. And the person who can help me buy them won't help me.

CATERPILLAR
I'm upset too! I can't reach the good leaves and berries in the tree.

CANKER-SORE
Well, every caterpillar can do that.

CATERPILLAR
Not I, I'm afraid of heights. I've always been afraid of heights.

CANKER-SORE
You are quite beautiful for a caterpillar. Green and orange are good luck colors. This must be a sign!

CATERPILLAR
You like green and orange, how about purple and gold? (caterpillar changes his colors) What about blue with pink stripes? And do you like silver with red polka dots?

CANKER-SORE
How do you do that?

CATERPILLAR
It's the food that I eat. It gives me the magical powers to change colors.

CANKER-SORE
Don't you eat leaves and berries like other caterpillars?

CATERPILLAR
I can't reach them. I would love to eat them. But I can't. I don't like heights! (cries) I am forced to eat the sandy soil. (Canker-sore hands him a kleenex. Caterpillar blows his nose, loudly)

CANKER-SORE
You are loud for a little tiny worm.

CATERPILLARI
am not a worm. I am a caterpillar. Worms live in the wet damp dark earth. Caterpillars climb trees, make cocoons and turn into beautiful butterflies and fly around pollinating flowers.

CANKER-SORE
Well that is all well and good but you are afraid to climb trees.

CATERPILLAR
(cries) You just ruined the point. I was just trying to tell you I am not a worm. I wasn't indicating myself. Gosh! It's not that I am afraid of climbing trees, I'm afraid of falling!

CANKER-SORE
Can I help you in some way?

CATERPILLAR
That would be lovely.

CANKER-SORE
What would you like me to do?

CATERPILLAR
What if you climb the tree and toss down leaves and berries as much as I want to eat?

CANKER-SORE
Ok, I'll do whatever you want little buddy. But would you please help me with my brussel sprouts problem?

CATERPILLAR
Sure, I could give you an idea. (prayer pose while humming) You can trade the extra berries for brussel sprouts.

CANKER-SORE
Oh, that would be lovely.

RUNAWAY TURTLES
Five girls enjoy a sleep over whilst the cook makes off with their pet turtles in a hidden transporter disguised as a closet. A black hole encompasses the space where the closet used to be. Once the transporter has returned the girls travel to bring the turtles back.

- Scene 6 MANSION STORAGE CLOSET

COOK ( Wears a fur coat)
Turtles, turtles it's time for us to leave.

BABY TURTLE
We have been planning this for a while. Are you sure you can get us out this time?

COOK
Of course. I am the renowned turtle keeper, Janice Hopkins. I have been keeping turtles for my whole life on Antigua. I have a turtle holding pen, ah, turtle sanctuary, on the island where you will live amongst many other turtles in happiness. You will get free salads with the lettuce of your choice. You can bask in the sun, feel the warm wind on your shell, bury yourself in the sand and swim in the glorious ocean waters. There is a fence around the island. It will keep you safe.

BABY TURTLE 1
Where is my sister?

COOK
You're sister is here somewhere. Why don't we count off?

TURTLE
1, 2, 10, 31, 58, 77, 92, 117 (they are one short)

COOK
We are missing your sister.

BABY TURTLE 1
(cries) I won't go without her.

COOK
Oh, poo! We can't go back. It is too late. We will have to leave her. (She pushes a series of buttons hidden in the closet wall. A loud roar engulfs the closet)

TURTLE
We are spinning.

COOK
Exactly. This closet is a hidden transporter that I built myself. We have taken off and will land invisibly on Antigua.

- Scene 7 WHERE THE CLOSET USED TO BE

ANABEL
Isn't the closet supposed to be here?

LINDSEY
The map says it's right here. But there is only a black hole.

KELSEY
Don't step forward.

MACKENZIE
Wait, there is no floor or ceiling. Aly what is this?

ALY
It's there. I walked here twenty times with my eyes closed. I used to think it was the bathroom.
(she steps in and falls through a black hole.)
Ahhhhhhhhh.

THE GODDESS'S BOTTLE
Three goddesses protect the world from destruction by storing their burps inside of mountains. But someone tries to steal them thinking they can save humanity.

- SCENE 1 CAVE

FU ( the goddesses enter dancing, Fu stops them)
Where is the bottle?

GU
It's right here.

MU ( burps in the bottle)
It smells strong.

RUFF ( dog enters)
Ruff Ruff.

GU ( hugs the dog)
You smell good.

RUFF
Thank you. I just saved the bottles.

MU/FU
That's good.

RUFF
Kwan Tan tried to steal them.

ALL
AAAAAhhhhhhhh!!!!!

RUFF
He cannot find them.

ALL
(cry)

RUFF
Be still. Or your fear will freeze you..

ALL
(cry)

RUFF
Oh no, they're frozen with fear. Ok everybody we have to sing the song to wake them up from their fear. I'll sing a line. You sing the line.
(SONG in sung which brings the Goddesses back to life)

ALL
Phew.

FU
I want Kwan Tan to be on our side.

GU
I want Kwan Tan to leave the bottles alone. Let's go to the hiding place.

MASTERFUL MONOLOGUES

ANNA MAE

On the first day of third grade I wore my favorite dress. It was camouflage. It was black, brown and green. I love my camouflage dress. It makes me feel happy to be seen in my cool dress. It was my favorite dress because it wasn't too girly. I can play in it. I don't have to worry about getting it dirty or my mom getting mad. I don't wear girly stuff. I don't enjoy pink. I don't like a lot of pink. I hate most of my pink dresses. I don't want to be neat.

ARDEN

When my dog, Butch died I was really sad. Every day for two weeks we threw rose petals on his grave in our backyard. We put him in the basket he found when he was a puppy. We filled it up with him and pictures of all of us. Months later we went on pet finder.com to find a new pet. We kept missing the dogs we wanted. But then we found Leo. So we went to Providence and picked him up. He's teethes on people. He nibbles. He gums my arm. He jumps. He can be a little crazy. Chases his tail. He sticks his feet out when he sleeps. I love it when you stick your hand out and he sits and he always tries to do what you say.

EMILY

When I went into first grade I met a teacher, Ms. D. She really stood up for me. I felt like I was just hit by love and I never felt like that before. That made me feel really nice and special. I thought that was nice of her, sticking up for me like that. I mean, it means something when someone sticks up for you like that. It really made me stand up for myself. Now I want to be just like her when I grow up, the way she treats people. I want to be an artist. Now I know I can.